Broken

Thought I'd share this rockin' tune with everyone! Old but...still great!



Alone again again alone
Patiently waiting by the phone
Hoping that you will call me home
The pain inside my love denied
Hopes and dreams swallowed by pride
Everything I need it lies in you

‘Cause I’m broken
I know I need you now
‘Cause deep inside I'm broken
You see the way I live
I know I know your heart is broken
When I turn away
I need to be broken
Take the pain away

I question why you chose to die
When you knew your truth I would deny
You look at me
The tears begin to fall
And all in all faith is blind
But I fail time after time
Daily in my sin I take your life

All the hate deep inside
Slowly covering my eyes
All these things I hide
Away from you again
All this fear holding me
My heart is cold and I believe
Nothing’s gonna change
Until I'm whole again

It is well

So, I've been struggling for a while now. I've come to a patch in my life which is really affecting me in so much that I do, emotionally I am all over the place and it's a bit of a mess. I keep getting reminded of Paul's 'thorn in his side' and God's grace being sufficient. I am reminded of Jesus' prayer at Gethsemane as He lays down His will for the Father's. But still I am suffering, I am down, I am sad...however hard or honestly I pray. As you are reading this you might be thinking I don't have enough faith, or I need to pray harder or maybe you're shouting at your screen there is no God...

If we are promised that everything we pray for in Jesus' name will be ours then why am I suffering? If I am promised a hope that will never disappoint, then why am I disappointed? What does it mean to rejoice in our sufferings? It is a preposterous idea, how can we do that??

So often we look at the gospel, see that it saves us and then move on. We say that we need to go into deeper things, look into sanctification, the gospel is elementary. But the gospel is our hope, it is our joy and always will be. It is the foundation of the hope, it is the one and only thing that brings us true joy.

For God did not appoint us to suffer wrath but to receive salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ. He died for us so that, whether we are awake or asleep, we may live together with Him. (1 Thessalonians 5:9-10)

That's it, the gospel that gives me hope that brings me joy. And this is where it all changes, although I am sad, weary, alone, tired and longing for healing, I am joyful.

Though I am sad, I rejoice in hope. Though I am broken, I know Christ is with me. Though I cry for this world, I am joyful for salvation. In all of this, in all my sufferings, in all the thorns my hope is in Christ alone, my hope is in the gospel. It is the power of God.

So even though my prayers are unanswered, I suffer, I am disappointed, I feel forsaken...because of Christ it is well. I can rejoice in spite of all this and say, it is well with my soul.

The Gospel

So let's not lose the point of Apologetics. It is to break down some barriers that might be in the way for some to hear or accept the gospel, which is the important thing. The book of Romans is Paul's account of the gospel so I'll quickly go thorough it.

The gospel is the power of God, revealing the righteousness of God through faith. Because God is righteous, He must judge sin. We know we sin because of the Law which God has given us. However, all the Law does is tell us that we have sinned, there is no lasting remedy and there is no assurance of salvation under the Law. This would not be a problem if we were without sin, but we have all fallen short of the glory of God and have therefore sinned. So, we are all to receive judgment because God is righteous.

However, there is a hope given to us. Through Christ we are JUSTIFIED, that means not only are we pardoned, it goes beyond that, there is no case to be brought against us. This is done through His PROPITIATION, which is a once and for all acceptable sacrifice. This leads to us being robed in RIGHTEOUSNESS, which goes beyond being 'ok' with God, we are given the honour of being righteous, like Him. How does this work though? How does believing or having faith in someone else's sacrifice work? Paul discusses this in chapter 4 where he points out that Abraham was acredited with righteousness because of His faith. This was before corcumcision (the covenant) and thus before the law, so salvation has always been through faith. Not just any faith, but faith in God and it is not by works.

This justification leads us to a hope in Christ, a biblical hope is one that does not disappoint and it is different to our everyday sort of hope. This hope is based on God's love for us which is seen through Him giving up His only Son for us, which was not a light sacrifice (see Isiah 53:5). In this hope, we are no longer slaves to sin which produces death, but we are slaves to God which produces abundant life. Being a slave of God is much more free than freedom in sin.

So what do we do with the Law? Do we still follow it? We do still follow the Law because it condemns us wich means it is holy. The Law is good because we know it in our own hearts, each one of us has something that we hold in our hearts and will not tell anyone about it because we know that it is wrong. This is the greater Law which God has placed within our hearts.

Although we have a great hope, God has not promised us that there will be no suffering, in fact, expect it to come thick and fast. However, God does promise that His love will not leave us, no power on earth, in heaven or in hell can seperate us from the love of God. With this hope, we become more than conquerors, in the before, we were subjected to sufferings but now, not only are we not subjected, but we rejoice in them.

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So, that's the gospel shortened, but I urge you to read Romans for yourself and see what you make of it!

God on Mute

So I've recently picked up a book called 'God on Mute' which tackles the question of unanswered prayer. I must confess it's been something that I've been struggling with. I'll blog again about this book when I'm done but here's a poem in it.

Engaging the Silence
first
there is
.......prayer
and where there is prayer
there may be
.......miracles
but where miracles may not be
there are
.......questions
and where there are questions
there may be
.......silence
but silence may be
more than
.......absence
silence
may be presence
.......muted
silence
may not be nothing but
.......something
to explore
defy accuse
.......engage
and
this is
.......prayer
and when there is prayer
there may yet be
miracles...