Blind

I would fall asleep
Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything would be like it was before
But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is
crashing to the floor

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

(Lifehouse - Blind)

I guess that's how I feel, sums it up quite well actually. Sometimes I wonder why God makes these things so hard...perhaps it is to teach us to trust Him, perhaps it is to get us to look to Him or perhaps it's something completely different that you've never even thought of...

AAAnyway, sorry for such a depressing post but as you can tell, much prayer is needed! Oh and don't worry, I highly doubt she will ever read this...

Who's Kingdom?

I've been really busy so haven't updated in a while but here goes!

So last night I was feeling a bit down about stuff, my 'problems' which are very real and do hurt so I decided to talk to God about it. No, my problems didn't get solved but my outlook dramatically changed. I was looking through a few christian youtube vids and reading the comments. It really struck me just how many people are aggressive to something as simple as a song or a worship session. The replies were hardly ever gracious...if there was a reply at all. I sat there asking myself the question "how can I further Your kingdom when I'm so wrapped up in mine". I'm here praying about my issues when I could be praying for all those who are seriously in need, those who reject God and claim to want intellectual answers when in fact it all stems from a longing in their hearts.

I guess sometimes you just have to shrug off your own problems and ask who's kingdom you are in, who's kingdom are you a part of? Do I really have time to mull over my failings and my hurts when I should be seeking first the kingdom of God. I know that I've fallen into a trap of bringing my problems to God and being honest with my feeling so much that...I've neglected the one thing I am on this earth to do.

On a side note...just came across a band called 'Revive' they sound pretty cool so you might wanna check them out.

http://www.reviveband.com/