Underdog

Underdog.
I wince everytime I say the word.
Especially in connection with Jesus.
Yet, as I read the birth stories about Jesus,
I cannot help but conclude that
although the world may be tilted towards the rich and powerful,
God Hallelujah, in his mercy, is tilted towards the underdog!

- Audio Adrenaline

The Lord of All

I decided to change back to this skin...it looks the best methinks.

Well, I've just (kinda) finished my property law prep and it was a big big toughie!! I still don't understand it and I got really frustrated because the questions didn't really relate to the documents given etc etc. Well, I decided to read Handsnfeet247's blog (check it out!! >>>>>) and once again she has managed to encourage me. Reading about the woman who was healed after she touched Jesus' clothes reminded me of something I was thinking about on the train today.

I know that I often forget hoe amazing and great God is. I was thinking that it would be great if I had a contact in a law firm who could give me a training contract and I would be set! Ring him/her up and then they will sort me out quick and easy. Then I thought, well I have God who is...God, I mean, He is greater than any partner in any firm and He can easily hook me up! Time after time I pray and not much seems to happen, though my eyes are very very dull. But this women who went to Jesus...she KNEW that she would be healed, she KNEW that Jesus was greater than any doctor. I don't know if she had been praying for many years for healing but in that moment, she sought God. In that moment she reached out and asked for healing and she got it.

I see so many kids nowadays asking their parents for things and they get it, indeed God is also said to be like that in the bible so where are we going wrong? Of course there are always the reasons...because it's not the right time or because it's not good for you. But I think the biggest hurdle is our lack of faith in God, that we forget God is...God, The Lord of all.

~Ciao

The Jesus I Never Knew

I just finished reading this book by Philip Yancey and I highly recommend it. For me, the title rings true, it is about The Jesus I Never Knew, the real Jesus, the person Jesus. Sure, I knew a lot about Jesus but I must say I never really knew Him that well. The person Jesus took time out for individuals, stayed out of the spotlight, went to the insignificant places of society, befriended sinners. He is not the god that this world thinks, He did not come to rule in a physical kingdom or rule over politics but His kingdom is within our hearts and that is the kingdom we have to further.

Highly recommended! Yancey speaks to both believers and non-believers, reflecting on reasons why we believe or not believe, showing us how far we are from the Real Jesus.

Standing out!

New blog template! How is it working out? The green changed in the old one and it became a bit of an eyesore for me so I thought I'd change it :)

Anyway, I just watched an old old documentary about who wrote the bible. It was presented by 'leading' theologian Robert Beckford, but after watching it I was very discouraged because of the naivety and the spin on it. It didn't mention anything theological and what it looks into historically was on a very poor level. He studied at LST...perhaps I shouldn't go there! haha. The other thing I watched recently, was question time, yes all the hype about the BNP and Nick Griffin. Personally, I was disappointed at how the panel just threw insults at him rather than give any valid arguments or actually criticise what he was saying. Though, I must say that I was impressed at how Nick Griffin stood out for what he believes in (however perverse it may be).

I googled this Robert Beckford and there was an article praising how he stands out and criticises the C of E about it being racist etc etc. This coupled with Nick Griffin's courage, if you can call it that, has really inspired me to stand out. Stand for the truth in the midst of shoddy 'intellectual' digs at the Word of God. We should be sorrowful that this world is like it is but we should also have hope that God will one day restore all things.

Creativity

It's been a while, but here's for another post! My friend is doing a project at school and she tells me that her theme is to look back into creation and see how God made it, to take influence from that. It hit me that so often we miss out on what God has to offer us in the simplicity (or not so simple) of creation, everything around us. All of humanity's creativity comes from...God...the Creator.

I am reminded that the first person the Bible mentions of receiving the Spirit is a craftsman, someone who works creatively. Today I was listening to a podcast and they were saying how the Church should be leading creativity in the world. Be it through music or through drama, programs, the lot. And that's true, we really should be, we know the most creative being in existence and He has given us gifts, He has given us ideas.

Maybe you might not be 'creative' but creativity is about being yourself, not copying others. Love God, know Him, be yourself and you will surprise yourself, and this world.

Paid in Full

I never shared this for some reason...but it's amazing!

Warning: Contains scenes from The Passion.

New Strings

I just changed the strings on my guitar (put in elixirs for the first time yay!) and after much tuning, it sounds really fresh and bright...however, inevitably it will get out of tune as the strings stretch. Anyways, I looked at my old strings and seeing how dirty they are, how they've lost their brightness, I am reminded of my walk with God. So often I am like a new set of strings, bright and full of promise, sounding good, looking good but soon they get dull. Soon I forget just how much God loves me, how important His word is to me. I need to refresh, start something new, perhaps a new book in the bible or perhaps new devotional material. It is true, it is a walk with God and sometimes I get tired, I need to refresh...be a new set of strings. That's where I am now. It will take some time and pain before I can be sounding good for God, just like the new strings. For those reading this, prayer would be much appreciated!! Prayer that like my new nanoweb coated elixirs, I can last up to three times longer than other strings! And also prayer that I can make a sweet sound for God and that I will know when I need to refresh so that I don't break. After all, you can't play on broken strings...haha

PHAT Camp

So I've just recently returned from this thing called PHAT Camp...extremely uncool name but hey, what can you do? It was actually really good, much better than I expected it to be and there is a lot to share, lots of encouragement.

To begin with, I went because I was asked by one of the organisers to go as a leader. I've seen what PHAT camp was like before (it has been dubbed 'Flirt camp') so...you get the picture. It never really seemed to be very good to me, all about emotion with no real substance. But the focus this year was one of a new beginning, to try and change the direction of phat camp and I think it worked.

The talks were very good, really easy to engage with and the speaker was extremely honest which I think was the best aspect. However, I was still dubious...the musicality of the worship sets were good but so much focus was given to music and praise that I felt the kids were not being taught about true worship. Nevertheless, they seemed to engage well with it so praise God! There was one night where people got very emotional, no doubt God was at work but it was very discouraging to see that the kids can be crying one moment and the next be laughing, playing cards and doing stupid things. The next night another one of the leaders commented on the expression on my face, saying that I looked very skeptical about it all...and indeed, I was. I didn't want this phat camp to be like the others, for the campers to have an emotional high but then lose it all when they got home and not have their lives changed.

Then the fabled final night sharing came and I was told that there would be even more crying, I felt this was a great chance to have another go at praying hard for these kids and have their lives changed. I prayed hard for a few of the kids and also prayed hard for the night in general...and yes, there were loads of tears. I know God definitely worked that night and I know that He touched many hearts. I know that some lives have truly been changed, others, I am not so sure but I hope that they have.

As I said to the other leaders before I left, the real work starts now...follow-up. Although, I must confess I am still slightly dubious, but I have faith that God will work and that He will be glorified. I really pray that he will give me the strength and patience to do this follow-up well.

It's been a while...

So it has been a while since I posted here. A lot has happened, exams, graduated from uni etc etc. Still, despite all of these advancements in life, I find that the problems remain the same. I still need clarification for the future, I still worry about useless things. It all really boils down to my inability to let go of things and ultimately trust in God. To let Him take the time required, to wait and do nothing, to trust and to have faith, yet at the same time doing my share. I get so restless sometimes and find myself chasing after so many things of this world and thus I do not seek first the kingdom. And if you don't seek first the kingdom...you don't seek it at all.

But despite these struggles, I must really be thankful to God for the blessings he has poured out for me. I am learning to slowly appreciate the little things and to do everything without complaining. Besides, things actually have been going pretty well.

On a side note, I've just finished watching the second season of Dexter...it's a show about a serial killer who kills...killers. Good show, although it's not really one you can sit and watch for ages at one time!

But until next time, I will leave it here.
~Sudek

Back fom SEEC

So I just got back from SEEC on Monday, it was really enjoyable and just generally really good. I really enjoyed our group discussion times and I think everyone learned a lot. I must say the highlight was the Good Friday meditation. We went around the place stopping at different 'stations' and meditating and praying about different things. It was really fresh and I found it easy to engage with. It was also good to see how other churches do worship too, different styles, different songs etc. A few people came up to me thanking me after our sets and I am glad that they were able to engage because as a worship leader that is my job. Though, as a worshiper I can't help but think that worship is what I make it, I get out of it whatever I put in.

Food was good and our group went slightly overboard during some meals...finishing off all the leftovers from the tables around us. Good job guys! My mum says I've put on weight. The last night was good, to just stay up and not sleep chatting and just spending time with each other. I've learnt a lot this SEEC, perhaps not from the talks but from interactions with different people. Can't wait til next year!

As for now...it's back to reality, although I really hope I can keep in contact with more people this time around.

Group Ezra (-Dan and Catherine who for some reason arent there):

SEEC 09

I'll be off to SEEC on Thursday and I'm pretty excited about it! I've done all the worship powerpoints yesterday and now need to organise some sort of practice. My group looks promising too and I'm desperately trying to finish a book I'm reading to prep me for leading a group - How to read the Bible for all its worth (Fee+Stuart). Very interesting, I learned a lot about how bible translators work and the problems they face.

As for now...back to revision! sigh...

Everything

So following on from the last post...I AM fine, but it's still going on but hey, life is not life without its joys, happiness and suffering! Anyhoo, continuing on from the lifehouse theme, I've been listening to more...the song Everything still stands out and strikes me everytime I hear it. Such an amazing song, especially that skit which is really cool...albeit a bit cheesy at times! haha. Anyway, I was seraching for videos of Tim Hughes' 'See His Love' for worship team purposes and I stumbled apon this vid which is...just inspired! Hope you like it!

Blind

I would fall asleep
Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything would be like it was before
But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is
crashing to the floor

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

(Lifehouse - Blind)

I guess that's how I feel, sums it up quite well actually. Sometimes I wonder why God makes these things so hard...perhaps it is to teach us to trust Him, perhaps it is to get us to look to Him or perhaps it's something completely different that you've never even thought of...

AAAnyway, sorry for such a depressing post but as you can tell, much prayer is needed! Oh and don't worry, I highly doubt she will ever read this...

Who's Kingdom?

I've been really busy so haven't updated in a while but here goes!

So last night I was feeling a bit down about stuff, my 'problems' which are very real and do hurt so I decided to talk to God about it. No, my problems didn't get solved but my outlook dramatically changed. I was looking through a few christian youtube vids and reading the comments. It really struck me just how many people are aggressive to something as simple as a song or a worship session. The replies were hardly ever gracious...if there was a reply at all. I sat there asking myself the question "how can I further Your kingdom when I'm so wrapped up in mine". I'm here praying about my issues when I could be praying for all those who are seriously in need, those who reject God and claim to want intellectual answers when in fact it all stems from a longing in their hearts.

I guess sometimes you just have to shrug off your own problems and ask who's kingdom you are in, who's kingdom are you a part of? Do I really have time to mull over my failings and my hurts when I should be seeking first the kingdom of God. I know that I've fallen into a trap of bringing my problems to God and being honest with my feeling so much that...I've neglected the one thing I am on this earth to do.

On a side note...just came across a band called 'Revive' they sound pretty cool so you might wanna check them out.

http://www.reviveband.com/

A Response

Forgotten.
Forgiven.
Risen.
My life reaps death as I taste sin,
But the eyes that burn, see my pain within.

Crucified.
Justified.
Glorified.
Though a sinner's shame, within I hide,
You took the cross, to be by my side.

Powerful.
Joyful.
Wonderful.
My deepest wounds are healed in full,
And the sting of death is made a fool.

Begotten.
Magnified.
Beautiful.
My every pain, you feel them all,
And by Your love, no tear shall fall.

God on Mute 2

OK, so I finally finished reading it...was great, I learned so much about prayer and standing in faith. I'll mention a few of the things that especially stuck out.

Deeper Faith
The passage used was Daniel 3:17-18. Here, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego are about to be thrown into the fiery furnace. They show a deeper kind of faith...they have faith that God is able and will save them, this is where most of us stop. But they go on to say that even if He does not, they will not bow down to other gods. This type of faith really is something deeper. It's as CS Lewis puts it (I paraphrase very very losely)...it is one thing to stand firm in God when everyone around is is doing the same and when we can see God. However, we come to a point of true faith when we stand firm in adversity, with no one around us, when we can't see God and when there is no explaination.

In the Muck
Another story that really touched me was about a Jewish worker in a concentration camp during Nazi Germany. He was cleaning toilets and the guard was mocking him, asking 'Where is your God now?'. The answer was a quiet 'Here with me, in the muck'. This really reminded me that Jesus suffered on this earth for us, so that He can be with us in our sufferings. I don't believe that He needed to go through all that He did if 'mere salvation' was the goal, but He wanted to give us something more. So often, I feel sad and down and I lash out at God, wondering where He is and I completely miss that He is right there with me. Suffering with me and feeling what I feel...this is the God that I worship.

The bottom line is...this book is great, I really recommend it whatever your circumstances. I do think that we always will have prayers which we feel are unanswered or perhaps they are. But I've learned how to engage with the silence, what it means and know why it happens. Come to think about it...my life isn't so bad, sure I have my share of sufferings in my own heart but I need to take it into perspective. Speaking to a couple people recently have helped me do this...I'm here blogging...how bad can my life be? And you're here reading it. sometimes our prayers aren't answered because we need to learn to stand on our own two feet. I'll leave with this poem...

I asked for strength that I might achieve;
He made me weak that I might obey.
I asked for health that I might go greater things;
I was given grace that I might do better things.
I asked for riches that I might be happy;
I was given poverty that I might be wise.
I asked for power that I might have the praise of men;
I was given weakness that I might feel the need of God.
I asked for all things that I might enjoy life;
I was given life so that I could enjoy all things.
I received nothing tha tI asked for, all I that hoped for.
My prayer was answerd, I was most blessed.

Broken

Thought I'd share this rockin' tune with everyone! Old but...still great!



Alone again again alone
Patiently waiting by the phone
Hoping that you will call me home
The pain inside my love denied
Hopes and dreams swallowed by pride
Everything I need it lies in you

‘Cause I’m broken
I know I need you now
‘Cause deep inside I'm broken
You see the way I live
I know I know your heart is broken
When I turn away
I need to be broken
Take the pain away

I question why you chose to die
When you knew your truth I would deny
You look at me
The tears begin to fall
And all in all faith is blind
But I fail time after time
Daily in my sin I take your life

All the hate deep inside
Slowly covering my eyes
All these things I hide
Away from you again
All this fear holding me
My heart is cold and I believe
Nothing’s gonna change
Until I'm whole again

It is well

So, I've been struggling for a while now. I've come to a patch in my life which is really affecting me in so much that I do, emotionally I am all over the place and it's a bit of a mess. I keep getting reminded of Paul's 'thorn in his side' and God's grace being sufficient. I am reminded of Jesus' prayer at Gethsemane as He lays down His will for the Father's. But still I am suffering, I am down, I am sad...however hard or honestly I pray. As you are reading this you might be thinking I don't have enough faith, or I need to pray harder or maybe you're shouting at your screen there is no God...

If we are promised that everything we pray for in Jesus' name will be ours then why am I suffering? If I am promised a hope that will never disappoint, then why am I disappointed? What does it mean to rejoice in our sufferings? It is a preposterous idea, how can we do that??

So often we look at the gospel, see that it saves us and then move on. We say that we need to go into deeper things, look into sanctification, the gospel is elementary. But the gospel is our hope, it is our joy and always will be. It is the foundation of the hope, it is the one and only thing that brings us true joy.

For God did not appoint us to suffer wrath but to receive salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ. He died for us so that, whether we are awake or asleep, we may live together with Him. (1 Thessalonians 5:9-10)

That's it, the gospel that gives me hope that brings me joy. And this is where it all changes, although I am sad, weary, alone, tired and longing for healing, I am joyful.

Though I am sad, I rejoice in hope. Though I am broken, I know Christ is with me. Though I cry for this world, I am joyful for salvation. In all of this, in all my sufferings, in all the thorns my hope is in Christ alone, my hope is in the gospel. It is the power of God.

So even though my prayers are unanswered, I suffer, I am disappointed, I feel forsaken...because of Christ it is well. I can rejoice in spite of all this and say, it is well with my soul.

The Gospel

So let's not lose the point of Apologetics. It is to break down some barriers that might be in the way for some to hear or accept the gospel, which is the important thing. The book of Romans is Paul's account of the gospel so I'll quickly go thorough it.

The gospel is the power of God, revealing the righteousness of God through faith. Because God is righteous, He must judge sin. We know we sin because of the Law which God has given us. However, all the Law does is tell us that we have sinned, there is no lasting remedy and there is no assurance of salvation under the Law. This would not be a problem if we were without sin, but we have all fallen short of the glory of God and have therefore sinned. So, we are all to receive judgment because God is righteous.

However, there is a hope given to us. Through Christ we are JUSTIFIED, that means not only are we pardoned, it goes beyond that, there is no case to be brought against us. This is done through His PROPITIATION, which is a once and for all acceptable sacrifice. This leads to us being robed in RIGHTEOUSNESS, which goes beyond being 'ok' with God, we are given the honour of being righteous, like Him. How does this work though? How does believing or having faith in someone else's sacrifice work? Paul discusses this in chapter 4 where he points out that Abraham was acredited with righteousness because of His faith. This was before corcumcision (the covenant) and thus before the law, so salvation has always been through faith. Not just any faith, but faith in God and it is not by works.

This justification leads us to a hope in Christ, a biblical hope is one that does not disappoint and it is different to our everyday sort of hope. This hope is based on God's love for us which is seen through Him giving up His only Son for us, which was not a light sacrifice (see Isiah 53:5). In this hope, we are no longer slaves to sin which produces death, but we are slaves to God which produces abundant life. Being a slave of God is much more free than freedom in sin.

So what do we do with the Law? Do we still follow it? We do still follow the Law because it condemns us wich means it is holy. The Law is good because we know it in our own hearts, each one of us has something that we hold in our hearts and will not tell anyone about it because we know that it is wrong. This is the greater Law which God has placed within our hearts.

Although we have a great hope, God has not promised us that there will be no suffering, in fact, expect it to come thick and fast. However, God does promise that His love will not leave us, no power on earth, in heaven or in hell can seperate us from the love of God. With this hope, we become more than conquerors, in the before, we were subjected to sufferings but now, not only are we not subjected, but we rejoice in them.

---------

So, that's the gospel shortened, but I urge you to read Romans for yourself and see what you make of it!

God on Mute

So I've recently picked up a book called 'God on Mute' which tackles the question of unanswered prayer. I must confess it's been something that I've been struggling with. I'll blog again about this book when I'm done but here's a poem in it.

Engaging the Silence
first
there is
.......prayer
and where there is prayer
there may be
.......miracles
but where miracles may not be
there are
.......questions
and where there are questions
there may be
.......silence
but silence may be
more than
.......absence
silence
may be presence
.......muted
silence
may not be nothing but
.......something
to explore
defy accuse
.......engage
and
this is
.......prayer
and when there is prayer
there may yet be
miracles...